"People who do not love themselves can adore others, because adoration is making someone else big and ourselves small. They can desire others, because desire comes out of sense of inner incompleteness, which demands to be filled. But they can not love others, because love is an affirmation of the living growing being in all of us. If you don't have it, you cant give it." - Andrew Matthews
Not having any knowledge of what you're worth, you'll more than likely sell yourself cheap. It all starts with how you feel about yourself. If you don't love yourself and will allow just about anybody to come into your life with so much ease, people will see right through that and use that as a way to take advantage of you. This is where you have to stop selling yourself short! Once you level up, people will start to value and respect you more. Let me share something with you that might just make you over think. Some people will go to such great lengths to make you feel like they care about you, they respect you, and they will never hurt you, just to hurt you. I'm not just narrowing this down to your previous lovers, not at all. I'm talking about people period.
Let me share with you a little background story. See, I haven't always known my worth because I was a person that always have had low self-esteem when it came to myself. I just always felt like I wasn't good enough and let others make me feel this way too. One thing that I really struggled with was my confidence. First, lets start off with my looks. All of my facial features were full, and by full, I mean big. I've always had big eyes, a big nose, and big lips. The only this that wasn't so big that was connected to my face, was my ears. They were so tiny and still are. People get amused when they see how little my ears are. I would often get teased about how big my lips were which had caused me to hate them. Little did I know that people would kill to have some of my facial features now, not literally... or at least I hope not literally. Anyways, I let things like that get to me. As I got older, I started to "grow into my features". I started to receive so much attention from people that I just couldn't resist it at all. So I started lowering my standards just to keep getting that attention. It had gotten so bad that I literally allowed anyone to take advantage of my vulnerability. I don't feel like they are totally wrong though because I was the one that let it go on for so long. After feeling so sorry for myself, I got back in the stage where I started having low self-esteem again. Then one day after feeling so sorry for myself, I noticed that I had completely belittled myself as a desperate cry for help. I knew that it was time for me to level up mentally.
Of course things like this takes time and you may be thinking where to start. So here it is... how to level up mentally.
1. Stop selling yourself for cheap. Don't sell yourself cheap. If you have standards, have them! Don't let anyone make you feel bad for having them. See it may take quite some time for a person who is aware and fully respects your standards, but it is okay. What you rather do, let multiple people come in and out of your life who doesn't respect what you want, or wait for someone who really cares about your standards and respects them? Don't sell yourself short because of something you want because it may not be good for you. It is all about respect. If you're not receiving it, why deal with someone who won't give it to you.
2. Respect yourself. How can expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself? It all starts with self respect. Don't let what others say or think about you mold you into someone you're not. You will find yourself constantly seeking validation from someone and it is really unhealthy, and will allow your own self-esteem to deteriorate. Don't speak badly on yourself. Don't say things like "My feelings doesn't matter. No one will ever love me. I'm not worth it" Instead, say things like "I'm worth being love. I'm worth being respected. My feelings do matter." Once you cut out the bad and start saying great things about yourself, you'll start to believe it! That's why it works so well when we say bad things about ourselves, and the negative energy starts to take over. That doesn't mean you can't break free from that negativity. Start to say good and uplifting things about yourself. Try it!
3. Start putting yourself first. If you're reading this right now, you are probably guilty of putting others before yourself .. a lot. It's fine to be selfless because I'm guilty of that too, however, it is not good when you are being selfless and it is not being appreciated. You need to know that you matter as well. Make yourself a priority for a change!
4. Be honest with yourself. We sell ourselves with so many lies that we can start to make those bad lies turn into bad truths and we began to develop this unhealthy behavior. Turn those bad lies into good truths.
5. Be yourself. Trying to be someone you're not can start off easy in the beginning, but as time goes pass, it can wear and tear on you. Be who you really are and if someone doesn't accept it, so what! Why live an unhappy life of being someone you're not? It doesn't make any sense. Be yourself!
Please remember that you are priceless so don't sell yourself for cheap. In fact, don't sell yourself at all. You are not on the market so don't put yourself out there like you are. Like I said before, there will be some people in this world who will respect you and not allow you to lower your standards for anything in this world. Those are the people you need to surround yourself around. Be positive, be great, and be the best version of yourself that you can be.
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