Saturday, May 18, 2019

How to Become a Better Version of Yourself!

Before I started working on myself, I will admit that I was the worst. I wasn't always a good friend. I wasn't always that one person that someone can run to. In my defense, I didn't care about myself or love myself enough! I was always that "half-ass friend" because I had so much going on within that I didn't have the time to be a good friend. I couldn't even be a good daughter or sister.

As time went by, it became so draining and depressing to not even care. It was time for me to practice self-care and become a better version of myself. The things I practiced daily work!

Fast forward to the present...

Lately, I've been having this battle on trying to become a better version of myself. Here's why: I noticed that I start to let my fears and doubts get the best of me. By allowing that to happen, I became stuck in a huge rut where I no longer wanted to do the things that I've been itching to do. I started to develop a lot of nasty habits that I don't like such as: being lazy, being rude, and letting what others say get to me. I also haven't been very present when it comes to being there for the ones that I love and care for.

We all have our own struggles and I'm pretty sure we all have the same thing in common when it comes to our struggles and that is, wanting to fix them! If you want to become a better version of yourself, keep reading my loves.

Here are my tips on how to become a better version of yourself;

1. Stop judging others!

While it may be super easy and sometimes enjoyable to judge and criticize others, this is not good. Doing this doesn't make you no better than the next person. Before you even attempt to judge anyone, LOOK IN THE MIRROR! This doesn't make you a good person at all. Actually, this makes you a Negative Nancy, and no one wants to be around that.

You know you can really hurt someone's feelings if you start judging them before you actually try to understand why they do what they do or why they are the way they are.

How would you feel if someone did that to you?

2. Stop talking down on yourself.

When you speak bad on yourself, you start to become more of a negative person by day, then by the hour, then by the minute, then by the second. It's always easy to say negative things about yourself especially when you may not have anything good going for you.

Baby, let me tell you, you do have something good going for you if you woke up this morning, this just means you've gotten an opportunity to turn everything around. Start by pointing out the things you love about yourself. Then, work yourself into the habit of saying positive affirmations every day. Do what it is that will make you happy and everything will start to turn around for you!

3. Practice self-care/love.

This is KEY! I say this because if you don't love or care about yourself, how can you release that same energy to others? Self-care and self-love can range from a bunch of things, such as; taking care of your skin, repeating positive affirmations every morning you wake up and before you go to bed, treating yourself to something nice, meditating, doing yoga, or even taking one day out of the week to make it your mental health day.

To do this properly, you need to focus only on yourself. Remember you have to work on yourself and love yourself before you can love the next person. It is NOT healthy when you love someone before you love yourself first.

You have to learn and care about yourself before you can feel that way about someone else. 

4. Stop the fear of failure!

The thought of failing at something or being a failure is really freaking scary. I get that. Let me ask you something though... Do you fear to fail because you care how the next person will view you? You've got to let that go. Being afraid can hold you back from so many opportunities.

It's better to fail to know you've tried than to fail by not trying at all.

5. Don't care what others think.

Have you ever looked at someone living their best life carefree and wanted to live your life the same way, but you just find yourself caring too much what others think?

Others will ALWAYS have opinions about you whether you like it or not! So, why hide your true self in a box trying to impress someone who is more than likely going to talk shit about you when you're being yourself or pretending to be someone that you're not. Let's face it, we just have those types of shitty people in this world.

Ask yourself this before you care too much about what others think of you,

Is this person putting money in your pocket?
Does this person take care of you?
Is this person controlling your body and life?
Is this person responsible for you brushing your teeth every morning?
Does this person bring you breakfast every day?
Does this person wash you up in the shower?
Is this person responsible for your future?

If you haven't answered no to all these questions, I'm pretty sure you answered no to most of them, which means you can't care about what this person thinks if they're not doing these things for you.

Don't get me wrong, it's totally okay to ask for someone's thoughts and opinions or take them into consideration, however, you don't need them weighing in on every single aspect of YOUR LIFE! 

Moral of the story is, live that carefree life and stop caring what others think before you end up hurting your own damn self, PERIOD!

6. Stop procrastinating!!!

I can not stress this enough. If you keep procrastinating, you'll be stuck! You will be that same old lazy procrastinator that will not get too far ahead.

You do want to become a better version of yourself, right?  Then, cut the bullshit and get to work. Stop making excuses and stop always blaming it on not having enough time. If you really wanted to get something done, you'll make time, SIMPLE! You can chill and watch Netflix once you finish doing what has to be done.

7. Stop with the people-pleasing.

Not everyone will be pleased with you. Not everyone will like you. Guess what though? That's OKAY! You don't need everyone to. Stop trying to please others!

8. Cut negative people off.

Inviting negative people and their bad juju into your life won't allow you to flourish properly. Their negative energy will weigh on you and start to bring you down. Leave that behind!

You will see a change in your energy when you surround yourself with negative energy. Don't mess up your energy trying to keep someone in your life. You will not win doing this.

9. Meditate.

Meditation is a great way to train your mind, focus, relax, and redirect your thoughts. Meditation can positively change you. 

You can go on YouTube and look up some good meditation music to help you. Don't worry if you have never meditated before, you can start off by practicing it. Also, you can research tips on how to meditate.

I've recently started to meditate and let me tell you that it has been working for me. I have been focusing way more and the killer part is I have been manifesting things that I wanted to manifest. Those weren't even my intentions, but to see that I get extra things out of meditating only motivates me to do it even more.

10. Start writing in a journal.

Writing in a journal helps you become more aware of your problems and what's going on with YOU. I encourage you to do this. It also helps you get things off your chest that you may not be able to tell anyone else.

Feel like you can't talk to anyone about it? Tell your journal! 

Writing things in a journal actually helps you let off some built-up steam that you may have. The best thing about having a journal is that you  WILL NOT BE JUDGED. You can say whatever you want when you want to.

Make sure to get you a journal as soon as possible. Target has some really pretty journals that'll make you feel in style. Make sure you check them out!

11. Smile more!

It doesn't hurt to smile, right? Smiling more can really help boost your mood and someone else's. You never know who may need a smile to cheer up. 

12. Stop comparing yourself!

Nothing is a competition. The only person you should be competing and comparing yourself to is YOU. Compare the old version of you to the new version of you and recognize the growth.

There should be no reason as to why you feel the need to compare yourself to anyone. You'll probably more than likely end up hurting your own feelings. I used to compare myself to people all the time like my sister. I was so hurt that I wasn't receiving any of the attention that she was, I started to compare myself to see what she had that I didn't. This is how I got low self-esteem because I started to just say things like, "she's prettier than me" and "her smile is better than mine."

While all that may have seemed to be true to me back then, I started to down myself and become this negative careless person. I stopped caring about yourself. Overall, just stop comparing yourself or competing with people who aren't you because you'll miss out on seeing your true self.

13. Help others.

Yes, I encourage you to take time to yourself, however, not all the time. Use some of your time to help others. You just never may know if someone else needs it too!

Don't just help others because it'll make you feel good, do it because you genuinely want to help!

A few helpful things to remember: Not everything happens overnight. Don't just think everything is a quick process, it really does takes time. Go at your own pace. Create better habits for yourself. Please, try to meditate or meditate more, it really helps. I'm guaranteeing you that it will help you through your journey as well. 

If you would like to reach out to me even if it's to talk, feel free to use the contact form.

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